She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
