The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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