Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
