yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
