It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
