It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize