420 ftw
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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