That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
