I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I could make wine with my vomit
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
