is your mom at the bar?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
