What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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