can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
