How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
