I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize