How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
