I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
