Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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