so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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