Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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