so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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