I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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