I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
