so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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