like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
