I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
