My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Your cock deserves a montage
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
