u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize