It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
