i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
