I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
