can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i dont even know how to be here
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
pray to the hookup gods
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
