Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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