I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
