How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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