The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
