I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
