I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
