YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
