Your face is a jimmy john
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
