why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
