my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
