i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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