She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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