Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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