My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
