You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
