So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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