Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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