So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I will pee on everything he values.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
