Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
