True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
