hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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