Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I puked a lego.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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