yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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