I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
