i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
