How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize