week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
