I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
