I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
