Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
