weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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